Tomorrow

Today is October 27th. Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm sitting at the ocean, I'm alone. I'm having a lot of feels. Tomorrow was supposed to be the last day of my life. But now. Now here I am. I'm not sure what's next. The ocean is beautiful right now.  It's gray, and green, and a little blue. The waves are white as they crash in. They're huge. The seagulls are flying right above the surf and landing on the beach. There must be hundreds of them. The only sound is the ocean roaring. It is mighty. It is majestic. It is strong. I am mighty. I am majestic. I am strong. I am a fighter and tomorrow will not be the last day of my life. That thought makes me sad. I have come to terms with dying. I am at peace with how my life will end. But not now. Not today, not tomorrow. Instead it will be a celebration of life. This idea of living is new. It's uncomfortable. I'm not really sure what exactly it means to me or what I'm supposed to do with myself, but I guess I'll figure it out. Mostly though I'm just sitting here deeply feeling some things I've been pushing away. And that's ok. I feel at peace with my new decision and with my life. I'll see what tomorrow brings.