They wake me up around 7am to take my thyroid medicine. I have to wait 30 minutes before I can eat. So I go out to breakfast around 7:30am. At 9:30am we have goals group in the Rainier Room upstairs on the 4th floor. We state our name, our top three moods, and a reasonable and achievable goal for the day. It lasts about a half hour. Then at 11am is OT Clinic, basically an art group. I usually color. But I did paint a box and grouted some tile on the top, which turned out really cool. (Which I also left at the hospital. Oh well.) That lasts until noon, after which is lunch. We have two more afternoon groups, at 1:30pm and 3:30pm. These are usually processing groups. Communication, stress management, healthy boundaries, etc. Dinner comes around 5pm. We have one last group at 6:30pm. It's usually a game, or yoga, or something more relaxing like that. I usually take my sleeping medication around 8:45pm and go to bed after that. On ECT days I usually skip the first several groups. Wednesday I slept almost all day, so I didn't make it to any groups that day. Oh well. I was drained and needed my rest.
I've appreciated my time here. I had such a high opinion of Swedish from when I was here three years ago, and they haven't disappointed. I've learned a lot and feel I've been heard and well taken care of.
I don't feel great still. I'm sad. But I'm not a hopeless right now. I'm beginning to entertain the thought of a future and what that looks like for me. I don't know what it looks like yet. But I'm trying. The chance of me killing myself is going down. I feel like it goes down every day. I still think about it, but it isn't set in stone anymore. There's some hope. Which is more than I've had in a really long time.
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