What To Say And Not To Say To Someone Struggling With Depression

My last couple of posts have been dealing with things to DO and things NOT TO DO when helping someone suffering from depression. Now I want to talk briefly on thing to SAY and things NOT TO SAY to someone who struggles with depression.

Helpful things to say to someone with depression:

*I'm here for you

*You're not alone

*This is not your fault

*I'll go with you

*What can I do for you?

*What kind of thoughts are you having?

*I'm not going to leave you

*I believe in you

*You're right, this sucks

*What do you think will help you?

*Give validation

*Nothing at all... ~
"I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it."
Rachel Naomi Remen

Unhelpful things not to say to someone suffering from depression:

*What's your problem

*There are a lot of people far worse off than you

*It's all in your head

*Snap out of it

*No one ever said life was fair

*Happiness is a choice

*Cheer up

*Have you been praying/attending church etc etc

*I know how you feel

*You have so much to be thankful for

*You're being dramatic

*It's pms (do not even!)

It's hard to know the right thing to say all the time. Maybe there isn't a right thing and that's why it's so hard to know what to say. But hopefully this list helps a little and puts some ideas into your head of what is helpful to say to someone with depression. And some things to avoid saying as well. I'd say follow your heart. If it feels right, say it. If it doesnt, even if you think it'd be good and helpful, don't. It may not be what your loved one needs to hear at that time. Remove personal bias and go with your gut. And remember no communication is as harmful as bad communication. If you're not sure what to say, ask! That's ok to do! I've said before most people know what they need to do to help themselves. So more than likely they'll be able to tell you what you can do to help or what is helpful to hear. Just ask. Don't be afraid. And please, if all else fails, say nothing at all and just listen. Just be there. The good that can do is unmatched in today's world. Being there and being a true friend can go farther than any right or wrong thing to say or do. I promise.