After The Storm

I feel good. I haven't felt this well in years. Things are looking up. I don't feel great, I don't feel 100%, but I do feel good and I do feel better.

My energy is still really low. I sleep a lot and feel very fatigued when I'm not asleep. I have a hard time concentrating still. But my mood has stabilized, for which I am really grateful. The self harm and suicidal thoughts have been very minimal.

I noticed something interesting looking back over the last month or so, since I entered the hospital. The night I entered the ER, I removed from my life some very toxic people. I removed friends from Facebook, and even deleted numbers from my phone. I hit such a low point that I couldn't handle having any access or have anyone be able to have access to my life. Things immediately turned around. I was able to be placed in an amazing hospital with an amazing program. My dear friend invited me to stay in her home while I get life figured out. And I just recently got accepted and approved for housing through Kitsap Mental Health. That means I'm going to be moving into an apartment all my own soon. I am beyond excited. Good things are happening. I truly feel that I had to remove that toxicity from my life before things could look up. It does makes me sad, and yet I am so relieved and grateful for the good things that are happening to me. It does not good to hang on to toxic things, people or otherwise.

I was also just diagnosed with hypothyroid. Many of those symptoms mimic depression symptoms, so once that's under control, I'll feel even better. The doctor said it'll take about three months to get the medication where it needs to be.

So, all in all, things are looking better. I feel so much relief. I have found some amazing friends who love me and accept me exactly as I am. And what an amazing feeling that is.

I'm living after the storm for awhile now. And the rainbow is magic.