The Good That You Do

I've have had an incredible experience here in the hospital. I have worked with incredible people who care so much for the well being of us, their patients. I have met some amazing people who are doing their very best not to let their demons win. I have felt understood, I have felt encouraged, I have felt acceptance, I have felt calm.

Much to my surprise, I have found group therapy so helpful. I am not a very social person when I feel good, so when I feel bad, even the thought of groups just about does me in. But I really felt strongly that I needed to immerse myself in this hospital stay, and so much of that was attending groups and actively being a part of the discussion and therapy. I have been so pleasantly surprised at finding such support in the group setting. To be seated with other people who are hurting and in pain, to openly be able to speak my mind with no fear of judgement, knowing I'm being heard and accepted. And having others there to share in the pain, or the heartache, and even the laughs. I have felt SUCH calm as I've immersed myself in group, and let myself grow and take in all that is taught. I have learned so many positive skills and techniques that I am going to take with me when I leave to help battle the tough times as they will come. I've received many wonderful handouts and booklets on positive self care and coping mechanisms. I'm grateful for the structure I've found here and I plan to keep that structure when I leave.

Every morning we have goal setting group, where we check in with our moods and set some small and realistic goals for the day. I'm going to continue with this practice daily. I'm going to set aside specific times for studying what I've learned here; times for studying stress management, or communication, healthy boundaries, etc.

I've made a solid crisis coping plan I am going to follow. One thing I've found very helpful is to identify my precursors for crisis. Certain moods or feelings or actions that happen before a crisis. And I've learned how to deal with those precursors before a crisis happens. Or if it does escalate into crisis, I have solid supports written out to help deal with those intense and scary feelings and emotions.

I'm sad for the events that led up to this hospital admission. It is still something I need to work through; it still breaks my heart. But I am overwhelmingly grateful there was a bed available in this particular facility right at the exact time I needed it. I'm grateful for that karma and that miracle.

My mood right now: I feel at peace.