A couple weeks ago I posted on facebook asking if anyone had any topics they'd like me to discuss on the blog. My cousin told me about an issue close to her where some family members who claimed to have mental illnesses were trying to destroy a family by making false accusations, and wanted to know my take on what to do and if people could be trusted again. It's a really, really good question.
I think a lot of the issue is what kind of mental illness we're dealing with. She mentioned OCD. I don't (thankfully) suffer from OCD, but I've worked with and known people who have had diagnosed OCD. And it is HARD to deal with. It is way more than just 'oh I have to have my napkins folded just so'. That is not OCD, and it irritates me when people say their "OCD" makes them fold their napkins a certain way. OCD can be debilitating. And people with OCD can get aggressive. For example I know a non verbal young person who has an obsession with a certain book that belongs to another. This young person becomes so fixated on this book that they lose sight of everything else and the book becomes all they can see. This can cause agression as the young person will do anything and everything to get the book they're obsessed with.
I also think it's really important that toxic personality traits are not hidden behind the label of mental illness. Some people are just not the best kind of people. It sounds like the people my cousin mentioned are very manipulative. That isn't necessarily caused by mental illness. Some people, for whatever reason, simply thrive on drama. It's not something I'll ever be able to understand. Borderline Personality Disorder causes people to create drama where there isn't any. BPD is one of the most difficult mental illnesses to deal with. However in talking with my cousin I don't believe BPD is a factor in this situation. Also some people are just narcissistic. Some people want everyone to be miserable like they themselves are. Depression was mentioned as well. I don't know of anyone suffering from depression who is manipulative in the way described to me. I am certainly not saying it can't happen, but I have no experience to draw any examples or advice from. From my experience, those suffering from depression have a hard enough time getting out of bed to face their day, let alone the energy to conjure up such accusations and drama.
Like I was saying before and I've said in past posts, I am really sensitive to people passing off poor life choices as simply "mental illness". And like is apparent in this situation, the perpetrator can be to blame as well. Passing off your poor choices as just having a mental illness, or multiple mental illnesses as the case may be, is just one more poor choice. It causes people to be reluctant and have pity on those who are simply out to destroy what is good in this world.
Can people be trusted again? This is hard. Very hard. It's also a very personal journey. There are some people in my life, that while I may love them and always hope for the best, I will never trust again. How many times can one be fooled before they're the fool? Like I said this is really hard. I think what it ultimately comes down to is this: Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, but, in the end you have to do what's right for you, for your family. If toxic people are manipulating their way into your life and causing irreversible harm, it's ok to step back and evaluate the situation. It's ok to keep a close guard on yourself and your family. It's ok. It doesn't mean you don't love and care for those who mean to cause harm, but the love is guarded. In the end all you really have is yourself and your precious family, so love and protect them, even if that means cutting certain aspects of others out of your life. You have to do what's right for you. And remember that I love you and am here for you. I hope this helps.
No comments:
Post a Comment