Exhausted

I am so exhausted. I can barely lift my body to do anything. I sleep so much. I don't know why I'm so tired all the time. I don't know if it is my thyroid. I don't know if it's the depression. I don't know if something else is going on. Maybe it's all things combined. I don't know. Abull I know is that my body has no energy and all I want to do is rest.

Today was rough. Today is the first time in months I've fought off self harm thoughts. I've been feeling so much better since I was released from the hospital, that I had hope the real bad days were behind me. It makes me nervous to have these feelings creep up like this. I know where they can go. I hate that when I start to feel bad, it seems dying is still an option. That disappoints me. I don't want to be in that place still.

I haven't been overly impressed with my new therapist. I'll give it a few more times to see if our patient/client relationship improves. Then I guess I'll play by ear. I transfered to the Port Orchard office when I moved over here, and it's just a teeny little office, I don't even know if I could see anyone else. She's a nice person, just maybe not the best fit for me.

I see my new psychiatrist at this office on Tuesday. I'm only nervous because it's new. Change is hard for me. But my medication seems to be at a working level right now, so hopefully we won't change anything up and it'll be a quick appointment.

I know a lot of my loved ones are hurting right now. It hurts me to see so much pain. I wish I could just take it all away and make the world a safe place for everyone.

Until then I guess we just fight the good fight.

I'll update again soon.